Many of my clients come to me wondering if royal romances—the kind that make you believe in soulmates, happily-ever-after, and fairytale magic—still exist. In a world where divorce rates climb, commitment dismissed, and sacrificial love neglected, it’s easy to doubt that there are any good kings or queens left. The idea of a partnership rooted in devotion, integrity, and calling feels like a relic of the past. I believe love itself has come under attack, leaving so many hearts jaded and hopeless.
But here’s the truth: royal romance is not only real—it’s possible for you. Whether you’re single and searching for your king or queen or already married and feeling the weight of the ordinary, you can step into a love story that reflects the calling of your hearts. A royal romance isn’t about perfection or fantasy—it’s about building a kingdom of connection, trust, and shared purpose. And it begins with four pillars that any great love story must rest upon: protection, provision, praise, and pursuit.
These pillars aren’t just for dreams—they are for anyone ready to write or rewrite their love story. Whether your marriage feels like a crumbling tower or you’re waiting for the right person to come into your life, the path to a royal romance is as simple as understanding and practicing these four sacred truths. Let’s unlock the secrets to building a love that reigns.
From Ordinary to Royal: The 4 Pillars of Lasting Love
Once upon a time, deep in the heart of every soul, two questions echoed like whispers in a castle hall:
Am I lovable?
Where do I belong?
These questions are not just passing thoughts; they are the foundation of every human being longing for connection. They are the unspoken quest of every king and queen who dreams of a love story worthy of royalty. And yet, for such a love to blossom and prosper, it must rest on four foundational pillars: protection, provision, praise, and pursuit.
This is the divine design set forth by the King of kings Himself in Genesis 2 and 3. When these pillars are upheld by both partners, they create a royal bond strong enough to weather any storm and tender enough to nurture intimacy and trust. These are not simply desires; they are sacred needs tattooed onto the hearts of men and women, the very architecture of how we were created. Without them, our house of love will crumble.
1. Protection: A Fortress for the Heart
In every great love story, there is a fortress—walls that shield the beloved from harm. The world is hard enough, we all long for a safe haven where we know someone has our back. Protection is the promise that your heart is safe within this land. It’s not merely physical safety, but emotional and spiritual safety. To protect one another is to defend the honor of your relationship, to create a space where fears can dissolve, and where your partner's spirit can exhale in peace. I often teach my clients that your marriage, your home, your love needs to be the one place, in all the world, that your partner can take off their armor and be safe.
For a man, protection often manifests as the steady framework of a castle—providing structure, stability, and safety. He is the heartbeat of the kingdom you are building together, a beat that is strong, steadfast, and unwavering. This rhythm flows from his character, for it is his integrity that sets the tone for the family’s sense of security. When a man is unsafe, unfaithful, unkind, or unproductive, the family is left vulnerable—forced to fend for themselves without the foundation or safeguarded boundaries he is meant to provide. Worse still, he risks becoming the villain within the castle walls, throwing the entire household into chaos. But when a man is honorable, faithful, wise, dependable, and consistent, he becomes the fortress. His strength and reliability allow his family to step into their God-given roles, flourishing within the safety of the stronghold he has built.
For a woman, protection takes on a different but equally vital form—one that begins with her sacred intuition. When she feels safe and cherished, her nurturing spirit rises as a shield to protect the heart of her husband, the well-being of her children, and the harmony of their home. She becomes the sentinel of their sanctuary, a watchful guardian who creates beauty and warmth that make the outside world fade away. Like a skilled watchman who senses danger before it strikes, a woman’s intuition is her God-given gift, allowing her to detect cracks in the fortress walls or the approach of an intruder. This role is sacred, a divine appointment designed to guard and preserve the kingdom you’re building together. It is a strength that should be honored, valued, and utilized by both partners, for it fortifies the foundation of the kingdom.
Example of Royal Protection:
Ask your beloved: “What makes you feel safe with me?” and vow to guard those sacred places.
Set boundaries together—whether with time, family, or distractions—to protect the bond you share.
2. Provision: Filling the Treasure Chest
Every kingdom requires resources to flourish, and so too does a relationship. Provision is the act of meeting your partner’s needs—practical, emotional, and spiritual. It is the filling of the treasure chest, ensuring both partners have what they need to thrive together.
For the king, provision begins with structure, stability, and a sense of direction for the kingdom. In Genesis 2 and 3, God beautifully illustrates this pillar by providing a garden for His children—a sacred home where they could dwell in His presence and enjoy the abundance He created specifically for them. He gave them every tree in the garden except one, and even that limitation was a form of provision, protecting them from the very thing that would bring death. This example lays the foundation for a man’s role in provision: to create a home, provide sustenance, and be the protector of his family.
The queen, in turn, provides the beauty, joy, and warmth that transform a house into a home and a partnership into a safe-haven. Eve was created inside the garden, whereas Adam was formed outside of it. To me, this detail signifies her inherent connection to be the beauty and her divine role in creating it. She doesn’t just live within a home; she multiplies what she is given, blessing it with a sense of belonging and love. A woman is uniquely designed to receive all that her partner provides and return it to him multiplied. Just as the garden wasn’t truly home for Adam until Eve was brought to him, a man often finds his true sense of “home” in the heart of the woman he loves. Together, they create a sanctuary that sustains not only their physical needs but more importantly the needs of their hearts.
In the day-to-day reality of marriage, provision goes deeper than material gifts. It requires asking, “What does my spouse truly need from me?” While every relationship is unique, at its core, the heart question is always: Do you know me? Do I matter to you?
Provision isn’t about always having the right answers or perfectly anticipating your partner’s needs. Instead, it’s about the commitment to seek their heart, to know them deeply, and to respond with love and compassion. True provision requires becoming a student of your spouse—learning their story, their wounds, their dreams, their insecurities, and their strengths. It means pursuing them at a heart level, celebrating their victories, and supporting them where they feel weak. God designed marriage as a sacred union, one where we are invited into the most private chambers of the other’s soul. To “provide” in marriage is to create that sacred knowing, a bond so close that the line between “me” and “you” begins to blur. As Scripture describes, we are called to be “bone of bone and flesh of flesh,” entwined in such intimacy that we are no longer two but one.
Example of Royal Provision:
Sit together and ask, “What do you need most from me right now—practically, emotionally, or spiritually?”
Provide not just things, but also your presence, attention, and support.
3. Praise: Delight in the Beloved
To praise someone is to crown them with your delight. It’s the twinkle in the eyes of a king as he gazes upon his queen, the unspoken assurance that she is his most treasured possession and vice versa. Praise answers the heart’s deepest question: “Am I lovable?” It is the tender whisper that says, “You are a gift, and I adore you.”
Kings, remember: Eve was presented to Adam as a gift. He was deeply aware of his need and profoundly aware when that need was fulfilled. Eve was created as his helpmate, a companion perfectly suited to stand by his side. In the same way, receive your Eve as the God-given gift she is—a blessing designed to enrich your life and strengthen your kingdom.
However, that blessing is not meant to turn her into your mother, managing all the household chores while you sit idly by, nor should she be treated as a servant waiting on you like Cinderella. Rather, she is designed to stand beside you in every aspect of life, offering wisdom, perspective, and counsel as you navigate decisions for your kingdom. Her unique strengths and giftings are there to complement yours—not to compete with them. A wise king recognizes the value of his queen’s contributions and uses them to build a stronger, united kingdom.
In the same way, a king thrives on praise that looks like admiration and respect. He needs to know his strength, efforts, and leadership are seen and appreciated. A king feels fortified when he is thanked for what he provides, the stability he creates, and the ways he supports and leads his family. To praise your king is to acknowledge the weight he carries and the honor with which he does so.
When a king is praised, he stands taller, feels more confident, and is inspired to lead with even greater strength and integrity. A kingdom thrives when both the king and queen honor the gifts God has placed in each other, working in harmony to create a legacy of love, strength, and purpose.
For queens, praise is the language of delight and affirmation. She longs to be seen—not just for what she does, but for who she is at her core. When a woman is deeply praised and adored, she blossoms like a garden in full bloom—radiant, vibrant, and overflowing with life. You can see it in her glow, her confident stride, and the quiet peace within her spirit. A queen needs to hear she is beautiful, that her unique gifts are noticed and cherished. She longs to feel like the one woman in all the land who could ever capture her king’s heart.
This is why infidelity and pornography are so destructive to a marriage—they cut at the very core of what a woman was created to be: the only beauty in her king’s eyes. For her, love is not just about action but about exclusivity and devotion. She is designed to shine as her king’s singular treasure, and when that sacred bond is threatened, it fractures the heart of the marriage.
Scripture affirms this balance: men need respect, and women need love (Ephesians 5:33). These are not simply suggestions but rather divine principles that build strong, flourishing relationships. Take time in your marriage to sit together and have a heartfelt conversation about what respect and love uniquely look like for each of you. Each marriage is a unique journey, and understanding your spouse’s specific needs is the key to keeping your kingdom strong and united. When you crown each other with praise, your love becomes a fortress—resilient and radiant.
Example of Royal Praise:
Speak words of affirmation daily, such as: “I love how you…” or “You are so amazing at…” (Be specific).
Celebrate one another’s victories, big or small, as if they were triumphs.
4. Pursuit: The Ongoing Quest for Connection
No great love story ends with the king finding his queen—that moment is only the beginning. Pursuit is the daily quest to win your beloved’s heart, to remind them they are worth the effort, worth the fight, and worth every step of the journey.
Pursuit answers the question, “Where do I belong?” It declares, “You are my treasure, my home, and I will seek you always.” To pursue your partner is to remain endlessly curious about their thoughts, feelings, and dreams, never ceasing to explore the depths of who they are; even after a fight! It’s a commitment to intentional love, a dedication to making them feel valued, cherished, understood and seen.
For men, pursuit means continuing to court his wife as he did in the beginning—to learn her heart, to fight for her when challenges arise, and to show her she is always worth the effort. This can look like planning dates or vacations to reconnect, carving out moments away from the children to simply be a couple again, or sending small reminders throughout the day—a thoughtful text or a quick call to say, “I’m thinking of you.” Pursuit for a husband is the steady rhythm of daily connection, proving again and again that she is his priority.
For women, pursuit is about showing genuine interest in her husband’s passions, seeking ways to meet his needs, and being intentional in staying emotionally and physically available. It might mean finding time to share his interests, initiating moments of intimacy, or setting aside quality time to truly connect. Pursuit could look like quiet tea together in the morning, a walk after dinner, or cooking side by side in the kitchen. It’s not about grand gestures but about creating consistent, intentional moments that say, “You matter to me.”
But beware: when pursuit wanes, the gates of the castle walls weaken, and the forces outside begin to encroach. For in every kingdom, there are maidens and knights who would gladly vie for the affection of your beloved, seeking entry where the guard is no longer vigilant. If you do not guard what is yours, the advances of others may be welcomed, even unknowingly. This is the heart of pursuit: to keep the sacred bond strong and unquestioned, to ensure that no intruder finds welcome within your walls.
Everyone loves the tale of the knight in shining armor who finds, fights for, and wins the heart of his beloved. But what happens after they are won? That is where the truest test of love begins. To cease pursuit is to let the flame flicker, leaving space for the chill of neglect to creep in. Pursuit is the daily tending of the fire, a reminder that love is not a prize to be placed upon a shelf, but a living thing that must be nurtured and protected.
One of the most powerful ways to protect pursuit is to make it clear to your spouse that they are your number one priority outside of God. This can mean greeting them warmly when they come home, making an effort to answer their calls whenever possible, and showing them that their presence is always significant to you. When children enter the picture, it’s essential to safeguard this priority. One of the most common mistakes in marriage is allowing the children to take precedence over the marriage itself. But the truth is, children thrive when they witness the commitment of their parents’ love and the beauty of their oneness. A strong marriage creates a foundation of safety and models healthy partnership for their future relationships.
Pursuit is not a one-time effort; it’s a daily practice. It keeps love alive, makes your partner feel safe and valued, and reminds both of you why you chose each other in the first place. Marriage is not just about living together; it’s about creating a relationship where both partners feel uniquely seen, celebrated, and deeply cherished.
Example of Royal Pursuit:
Schedule intentional time for connection—whether it’s a candlelit dinner or a quiet walk in the woods.
Ask questions like, “What’s been on your heart lately?” and truly listen to the answer.
The Crown of Love
True love—like jewels on a crown—requires care and intentionality to shine. It’s not simply handed to us; it’s built, polished, and protected. The four pillars of protection, provision, praise, and pursuit are the foundation of a marriage that doesn’t just survive but flourishes like the happily-ever-after marriages we all dream of.
So, dear king and queen, take up your crowns. Commit to these royal acts of love, and watch as your marriage becomes a story worthy of the ages—a fairytale romance of trust, connection, and unwavering devotion.
Your royal romance awaits.
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